Well, where do we start. OK, a quick run down of the players:
Georgina Baillie (victim)
Andrew Sachs (victim’s grandfather, actor, UK national treasure)
Russell Brand (swordsman)
Jonathon Ross (accomplice)
The Sun Newspaper (UK Tabloid, moral crusader)
BBC Radio 2 (UK taxpayer funded national broadcaster)
Max Clifford (leech, parasite, holier-than-thou stalwart citizen)
The events:
Once upon time, in a bedroom far, far, away, Russell Brand and Georgina Baillie get jiggy and copulate, possibly engaging in other sexual ‘activites’ before, after, or both. Some time later, during his radio show, Russell Brand leaves a message on Andrew Sachs answerphone, the transcript of which is as follows:
2 listeners complained to the BBC about the call, which prompted the UK media, led by The Sun ‘newspaper’ to launch a moral outcry over the content of the prank call. Complaints soared to 30,000 (and still climbing), even eliciting a response from UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown; “This is clearly inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour, as is now widely recognised….”
Georgina was duly approached by The Sun, and after doing a deal with famed money-grabber Max Clifford, sold her stoy, pouring her heart out with such quotes as
“utterly horrified and disgusted”
“we should complain to the police”
“I can’t tell you how much it hurts to know they were so unkind ”
Andrew Sachs, interviewd by The Sun stated “Andrew, of Brondesbury, North West London, said early yesterday he did not know whether Georgina had slept with Brand, but admitted he would be “horrified” if she had.”
Georgina Baillie, after admitting she DID sleep with Brand, said he was a “disappointment” in bed. Way to keep your reputation as an innocent victim intact.
Next up, the internet comes alive with porn pics and movies of Georgina Baillie, who uses the stage name Voluptua while being filmed. She also had a try-out as a topless model, and auditioned to appear in the UK’s top tabloid as one of their famous Page 3 Girls. That tabloid? Why, none other than The Sun, who have a history of working with publicist Max Clifford, along with their sister paper, the News Of The World (who broke the story about F1 Racing boss, Max Mosley and his spanking sessions with hookers dressed as Nazis).
Ok, so on to a few ‘coincidences’. The Sachs family are good friends with the Goldman family. Who are the Goldmans? Well, Jonathon Ross’s wife, Jane Goldman, a Gothesque type, who has also modelled underwear for a Gothic clothing company.
A porn movie has surfaced showing Georgina being spanked by a girl wearing a strap-on dildo, a la Max Mosley style. The girl herself allegedy bearing a remarkably similar appearance to none other than one of the dominatrix’s from why, the Max Mosley video exposed by none other than Georgina’s new publicist, Max Clifford…
PR stunt from the get go to get sweet Georgina Baillie’s porn career kick-started? Nah, surely not…….?